Saturday, January 26, 2008

And as vast as the sky is...

sheesh, I post stories and poems, and no one says anything??? Are they that bad?

When I woke up this morning, I decided I was going to be joyful.

You know, the days I decide that... sometimes those are the hardest days to carry through on it. We had city power all night, but then the generator for my building (and two other class buildings) wouldn't start. And I got to be the one to discover that at 6:45. And make the semi-executive decision to do what it took to get it started. Then unprepared, stand out in car line so our national staff could get some classroom's heaters going, because they were frozen. So I got very cold standing out without a hat or real gloves. Then, I didn't have much I could do until 11:00 AM when it finally got started. That was frustrating. Then, the whole rest of the day was off. But I got to do carline, which I almost always enjoy. And work out.

Tomorrow may be rough as it is internet-based-language-test day, and we have to do it during school. But I'll decide to be joyful tomorrow morning, too.

I have come to a developing conclusion that I am the most responsible for my own attitude. See, I think happiness is an emotion, but joy is a state. And emotions... well, they come, they go, they are high, low. Can't always exactly control them. But our state, well, that we can control. I can choose to be joyful regardless of my circumstances. I can choose to let my emotions get the better of me, I can choose to let the things that I feel rule me and be in a state of constant turmoil, or I can make the conscious choice to be joyful, peaceful, and content. When I make that choice, how I feel doesn't matter. What I see becomes not the immediate rocks in front of my feet, but rather that which is on the hills.

I am thankful in every Remembrance of you.

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