Saturday, October 13, 2007

Carrier of the Fortress

I'm breaking one of my own rules right now - it's Fall Break, there aren't very many people here, it's 9:00 AM on Sunday morning here, and K-State is playing a late game, so I'm listening online (KSAL, I love you guys!). They're playing Colorado, playing kind of uneven, defense could be better, but special teams is really doing it for them right now, it seems. I think we've had to settle for too many field goals.

I'm still slowing installing CS3 on the lab computers. Later today, we're going to play Frisbee, since it's still a holiday here, lots of other people have off, so hopefully there are lots of people there. I'm kind of sore from the other day, but that's fine - this will give me an opportunity to stretch out!

Tonight, I am having what I am currently terming the "Great Fall Break nan Pizza Experiment" at my house. I've invited all of the folks that are still on campus over for pizza. I was going to get delivery pizza (yes, there is a pizza delivery place here in Kabul!) but they aren't open until Monday, so I bought pizza sauce, cheese, and tonight I am going to go buy nan, smother it with sauce, put cheese on it, then put it in the oven. I've got to find some other toppings, but I don't know what I'm going to manage to come up with. Either way, it'll be fun as long as it turns out OK.

Boy, maybe K-State's defense is OK. They've got two INTs in the 4th, and they've held OK this quarter, except for that one drive. And now the offense, in the form of James Johnson, is doing pretty good. Wish they would have played better against Auburn and KU, we could be undefeated and solidly in the top 25. Maybe this win will bump them back up, as there should be a big shakeup in the Top 25 with the way this season is going. And Colorado has totally self-destructed, 3 turnovers in the 4th quarter!

Tonight, I'm also going to have a quick time of breaking bread beforehand. If you look at it, the early followers of the Way did that as part of their meals, not just during a formal meeting. It's good to come together to remember.

To remember. I'm not forgotten.

This break is good for lots of people, but in many ways, it's not good for me. When I don't have things to do, I think too much. I analyze, synthesize, and worry too much about certain things. As I told people recently, I'm not concerned about my future destinations, I'm anxious about the journeys. I know that I'm going to be OK, I'm going to be Led, and that He is the guarantor of my life. I do not doubt the Ultimate Reality, rather, I do not trust enough the Daily Presence. As I look back at my life, I see this pattern repeated long and wearily. I never doubt that He's there, I choose not to see that He's here.

Slowly, silently, the differences come creeping up, but even then they do not seem intertwined. Tides rise and fall, nations ebb and flow, people grow old and waste away, but never does He change. Never should we slip to the seductive lie of the deistic idealization of a Great Start that has made no further entrance into our lives. I fall victim to the very thing I decry, the one who screams screams about himself. Despite my failings, however, His faithfulness never wanes. To the patriarchs, he made a covenant, which they accepted through faith. (H11) Later, this covenant He fulfilled, being faithful in the face of our defiance and failings, our breaking of the covenant. So then we can do nothing, nothing that gains us the things that He has promised.

Yet men toil and strive, all of this is vanity. Long before the ordination of the world, I was made, predestined, known. The numbering of my days is not to be dreaded, but accepted and relished. The One is still here. Until He comes again.


nln said...

I am missing something ... you have a rule against listening to K-State games?

Russ said...

I, as the IT Coordinator, have a rule against streaming audio. But as I said, since no one was here, I broke it. Bad me.

nln said...

Oh, I see now.