Saturday, December 13, 2008


Not the patterns.

I am struck here at how it's the simple things that serve as reminders to me. Not the huge things.

It's video-taping a little girls' (ok, and some big girls, too) dance recital, and getting a little sad at the parts of my cousin/sister's lives I'm missing.

It's thinking about how my boys are playing today. (probably right now as I post this) And getting sad that I don't get to have that here.

It's D not feeling terrific but wanting to come hang out with me instead of just laying in her room all night.

It's how I was in hiding, but I've found Someone who I was wishing for all of my life.

It's how days when I just don't know how I'm going to make it through, I am give(n/s) the courage and encouragement to make it through.

It's that I've cried twice today, because I get to see who I am, and how good it is to know that this is not for me.

It's that I know I'll never make it through all on my own.

It's surrender.

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