Thursday, July 10, 2008


What other observations can you have after driving across the perhaps most beautiful part of the country that you don't live in anymore with your best friend's family on the way to his wedding?

For example...

- The kid was overdosing on some unconventional blood thinner, forgoing common differential curves.
- Like some abstract, antiphonal bonding exercise, the moment approaches an objective tipping point.
- Sequins formed a pretty landscape on the shadows of vast irreality that permeate the sea.
- Like the piano of a cheap, mid 19th century saloon, my encryption scheme is missing a few keys.
- There is a single root to all the erosion and abandonment in the route - inarticulate roses.

Right. I definitely should not write in a van while randomly tired like jetlag, randomly napping in the middle of the page of a Gibson novel (Spook Country, in case anyone out there is a Gibson fan.)

Now, I have more serious observations about life, my purpose in it, and what has been happening to me recently, but it's about 11:30 P.M., I'm in a hotel suite, and the rest of the folks here are probably going to want to be going to bed. Suffice to say, there's a functional constant amidst all the simple changes, the complex waves, and little reflections that have adorned my life in the last year or so. The constant is my newfound lack of a handle on my role as an actor in my life story. Am I the one to take livid responsibility so that events occur in my life, or perhaps am I to wait for and simply react to times and situations as they arise. I do not have perhaps the vision in this that I should, and as such, this all becomes more of a struggle than it otherwise would be, obviously. If I knew that I had to take the active role to bring events to an occurance, I wouldn't have to doubt myself so much. If there were a river in the middle of my course, would I be carried by the current or swim against it? If this wasn't about growth, about being made acceptable, I think that I would perhaps have called all these things off long, long ago.

Bedtime. Maybe more posts tomorrow.

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