Sunday, March 09, 2008

Lead times

Sometimes, the joy of working out for the second and a half time in a day is being able to cool down by eating nearly 500 calories of desert roll, all by yourself, in your room, reading Vinge and grooving to Reality Check.

Only one more day of P.E. Then it will be back to the normality of my regular job. For a while, at least. I have all these things that need to get done, that maybe I should have been putting in extra hours to get done, but there's just something in me that says there will always be more to do, and I have to set boundaries somewhere.

I worked out two and a half times today by doing my morning routine when I woke up, playing ball with the guys after school, working out before supper, then going back and working out a while after supper.

I'm wondering that the communication that I feel like I am not having isn't just my lack of ability to Talk, but if it's a stretching experience where I need to learn to grow despite the feeling of minimal input. Or maybe it's my own inability to Talk. I don't know yet.

Hope. Joy. Peace. They're all there, I just need to take a hold of them. It needs to not be a learned response, not something I have to consciously think about, but just a part of me. Maybe I'll be there someday. Until then, I press on.

The world we see here has an edge. Someday, I'll look over it, and soon enough, I'll be falling off.

No comments: