Friday, January 11, 2008

Mark me with fire and send me

Ok, so I'm tired, jetlaggy, and introspective. I made it back home in Kabul around oneish yesterday. I never did get my luggage, although I may get it today if the airline did forward it like they said they would. So there's that to look forward to. Yesterday, I went out and did some shopping, played some games, figured out how to light my woodstove, and did my best to stay up as late as possible. I went to bed around 8:00 P.M. and woke up around 3:00 A.M. this morning. And have been awake ever since. Consequently, I'm a little tired and not exactly firing on all cylinders. I got unpacked in my new place today after meeting, and I think I'm ready for work and life to restart back to some semblance of normalcy tomorrow. It is cold here, and I have really appreciated my wood stove. I had on shorts for a while in there today.

Words. I write a large number of words, here and elsewhere. I speak a large number of words. Do I ever really know what effect those words are actually going to have? Should I type or say some or any of them that I do? It seems as though I never have actually managed to win over my nervous garrulousness, and that I say so many more things that I ever really should. Sometimes I do actually say something that matters, but more times than not I don't, it's just all verbal incontinence, just all pretty sounds and empty nothingness.

Well, see now, I should delete that and not post it, but I post it anyway. What does that say about me?

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