Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Signatures and Egalitarianism

When I was a child, this life seemed to stretch out indefinitely, every next day hanging forward, out over the abyss of a night's sleep. There seemed to be an endless procession of days, never to be interupted.

As I grow older, I being to recognize that this simply isn't true. Some days, it seemes like the end, the eternity is right around the corner. Some days, I know that this time, the time which I grasp at with faint, fragile hands, the time that has been granted as a gift to me, the time is soon to end.

I'm entering an event horizon, one unlike any other I have seen forth in my life.

Last Friday, I accepted a temporary, 4 month position for the Fall '07 semester to work as the IT Coordinator for the International School of Kabul, Afghanistan.

Why did I do this, you may ask, and you would be justified in asking that question. I've explained it a lot different ways over the past couple of days, and there are many reasons that you can imagine for my doing this.

The simplest reason comes down to this: I have to. I feel like I am being called to do this. The reasons not to go don't add up. I feel like to not do this would be to ignore what I feel God is calling me to obey. If I do not do what I think I am being told by God to do, is this not a sin? If I choose to turn my back, what does this leave for me to do? I have no wish to be like Jonah, shivering in a cold sea before being swallowed by a giant fish.

So I go. I told my boss today. He was not, shall we say, jumping for joy, but I think he understands. I don't know if all of the rest of you will, but if you need to, e-mail me, call me, whatever.

It's still not 100% that I'll be able to go, passports and visas and governments may interfere. But even that will be the Will of the LORD who holds all of us in His hands. I am not as strong as I should be, not as sure as I would like to be, not as mature as I could be. But then, who of us ever is?

Thanks to God, who gives us grace far more richly than we deserve.

No comments: