Sunday, October 19, 2008

Clean floors.

I wish I could change my wiring. I'm so horribly poor at dealing with people, I'm selfish and I can't control my own feelings enough. I wish I could just stay quiet, not ever have to interact with people at a deep enough level that what I do matters. More awkward silences, more disappointments. More of me being weird, and other people having to deal with the aftermath of that.

I'm getting behind again, and I have to work hard and catch up.

I had a really good conversation with a respected elder friend last night that is helping me process and figure out a lot of things that are on my long-term horizon. I think I was reassured that I'm not crazy, which was/is really helpful.

I've come to the conclusion that... well, I probably need to bite my tongue more.

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