Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Underneath my beat

I wish that it was just that easy.

Today has been a long day - it is 10:00 P.M. and I woke up at 2:00 A.M. I had a good day today. I wallked and then worked. I did sound for the H.S. concert, on the fourth floor of a hot wedding hall. It went OK, I just didn't really have the care or consideration that I should have because I was tired, it was hot, and I had a lot of other stuff to do.

There are only two weeks of school left. I have to confess, I dread change. I am almost at the place where I don't want it to come. I want to stay here like this for a while. I don't want to be away from these days for very long. I want to be with family, but I want to know what is real or just a dream.

Yet, change happens in my life. I just have to accept it, see why it has been given to me, and go on with the life I have been given. The time will come when home won't be a place, the time will come when Home will be so close. The time will come when I find peace in a few situations, the time will come when I will have the strength to become nothing. When all I want will be that which I should want. Then, maybe then, will the things that I focus on too much these days come, maybe then they will come.

I wish it were just as easy as saying a couple of the right words. Instead, my feet just keep moving up hill. My heart stayed a couple hundred yards down the trail, not sure when it's going to catch up. I wish it were just as easy as making another resolution. Instead, I give up everything, and maybe I will one day hear the words I long to. Maybe one day I will hear the Words to take me Home.

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