Friday, September 28, 2007

There's a feet short of a lobster.

This picture makes me happy and sad, it shows the good and bad.  If you understand this, you shall understand what I don't want to talk about.
So, I've been busy the past few days, in a lot of different ways. Spent a decent amount of time away from the compound yesterday and today, which is kind of nice some of the time. We went hiking yesterday morning (that's where the cool picture came from), and really had a good time. It was serene and beautiful at the top, and we stopped for a moment to reflect on the city before coming back down.

Then, a number of the guys went out. I wasn't really happy about going or about the circumstances that necessitate us going out, but it was good to go for reasons which will hopefully never enter in conjunction with circumstances. Sorry if that seems opaque, but if you can bend that and break it down, you'll understand.

Went out to a coffeeshop for a while yesterday afternoon with a couple of the teachers. That just isn't the thing for me, and I don't know why I keep going. After that, played some basketball for an hour or so, went and did some work-related e-mail and other stuff, had supper, washed dishes since our kitchen staff leaves early for Ramazan, then went and worked out. After working out, we watched The Departed. We probably should not have, it was a pervasively obscene movie. I will say that I really... not enjoyed, precisely, the ending 15 minutes of the movie, but was really satisfied with the conclusion as it related to the rest of the movie.

And today, we played Ultimate. It was fun, even if I got traded around a lot, got burnt a couple of times, slipped in the mud, missed a couple catches I should have had, made a couple nice defensive plays, snagged a couple that it didn't look like I should have had, etc.

I have agreed to do sound for meeting for a while, so I had training on that today. It was OK, although it was pretty clear I knew more about what goes on than did the person training me. That's ok, though, I really tried not to be too in your face about it. Didn't do the best job, but that's how it goes.

I have other things here that I don't want to talk about. Don't feel like I'm keeping secrets. What do we strive for that will bring us any closer? Some days I wish there was a soma that I could take that would make certain things go away, at least for the time being. But this is a foolishness, a vanity. We have been made who we are for the reasons that we cannot see.

I am led by this thought to mention again the hike we took, as part of it involves going by this old defensive structure, built to keep the city safe in olden times, in elder days. It's still standing strong in some spots, yet in other places, completely dilapidated and little more than a could stones piled on top of each other. If there had been a statue, and could I have called the words to mind, spoken would have I the poem of Shelley, recalling the works of Ozymandias. This fallen defense, this work that was entrusted to keep the city safe, it reminds me of the moth and rust. In this place, in this time, I am reminded to put my faith in more than steel, more than that which sand will bury.

All else failed. There is none other given among men whereby they might be.

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