I never can tell if it's black or clear.

If you figure out what the title is talking about, I might get hit.

Today, I faced more frustrations with living here. I faced more frustrations with being glue. I faced more frustrations with a new problem, that I think my early-on-set arthritis is really starting to kick in. I've been just sore the last two days. I didn't work out last night, and I think I'm going to skip it tonight too.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm even here at all. But then I know that someday soon I'll manage to do something right for once. Do you ever feel like the things that you empty yourself into don't pay you back? It seems to me here that the days when I feel most like that, I don't get paid back by those things. I get paid back by something else.

For example... I came back to my office after supper tonight because I didn't get a lot of my real job done today because I was running around trying manage/make happen some stuff for our school drama play that is happening at the end of this week, and then I subbed for the on-vacation computer teacher, and during my free times from both of those things, I had all these 'this needs fixed now' requests. So when I came back, I tried to do some things and found out our internet wasn't working. I did some investigation, and determined that it was the router in the science teacher's house that wasn't working. Went down there to work on it, and after fixing it, they invited me to come back to their house for grilled cheese. They have three kids, and when they asked the kids if it was OK if I came and had grilled cheese with them, the kids all cheered. See, you get paid back, just by different things then took from you.

So, I need to head down and have some grilled cheese. I just wanted to leave you with the reminder that the things that you pour out aren't the things that fill you back up sometimes.