No misconception for the last

And to wit, a thought has been growing in my mind recently. Many thoughts do this, grow, take hold for a short time, and then fall away. I have no confidence that this thought will ultimately be any different. Nonetheless.

There are many things that I fear. Many things that I wish to never experience. I keep thinking of the words recorded by the one who was known by who loved him, said by the One who loved him, in fftn thrtn. And the thought grows that these words do not just refer to my life or my death, but by my actions as well. We spoke tonight in our study about community, and what we do to build it and what hinders us from doing it. I know that my personality is one that does not require large community, just a few close friends. And yet, one of the things that draws people into our Community is the way we interact with and love each other and those outside of us. I don't do that well. I need to do it better.

So, I'm going to try to start. I'm going to try to learn the name of at least one of our guards every week and greet them by name when I see them. I'm going to try to show my friends here that I do really care about them, not just by doing things for them (which is my natural mode), but by genuinely showing interest in them if I can. I need to be a genuine expression of light and love to the people around me, I need to set aside my own life for the sake of the Life that matters.

Now, I say I'm going to try. Will I succeed? Not if I try to do it myself. Not if I try to do it alone. I have a help in this, in that the guys in our own little Community here at school are committed to building the community as we can. I have a greater help as I try to sleepwalk through this, and he will never falter.