Forensic aprobation

There was this little sticky mollusk near my office window the other day. The mollusk couldn't find a handhold for his rapidly reclining shell, so I decided that I would help him out a little, and find the closest one for him.

"Why thank you," the mollusk said, "That was so very kind of you. I had no other option but to fall."

"I understand that," I replied cautiously, "which is why I decided to help you out."

"But I wonder," the mollusk continued, as though I had not spoken, "Would your response have been similar if I had been an apricot instead of a mollusk?"

"Well," I began to answer, when the mollusk rudely interrupted me.

"Because I have this feeling that you do actually care for apricots, and so would not have seen the value of the apricot as equal to the value of a mollusk, and as such would not have saved it. Am I right?"

"Apricots don't climb walls. Or have hand holds for their shells. So if there would have been an apricot on the wall, I would have been rather distressed." I thought this was all very logical.

"Dude. I'm a mollusk. In the middle of winter. Outside your office window. What are you standing on?"

Suddenly, I realized that the whole story was just a set up for one of those awful cartoon scenes where the main character flails their arms and legs off of the cliff before plummeting to the earth.