Press on

(There is an item that I have recently been thinking through and processing, and I haven't posted about it on my blog for several reasons. I also sent this out via e-mail, but on the chance that there are some readers who I didn't ever get e-mails from, I'm posting it here, too.)

I have some news about my journey and my situation here that I want to share with you all. I appreciate all of the p ayer that people have done for me over the past several months, and it has led to some tremendous blessings that I must tell you about.

I haven't posted about it on my blog or talked with many people about it because it's been a personal decision and journey. I was really struggling with it about a month ago, do I stay here or head out after my initial contract runs out in December? I don't understand why He would want me here, I feel inadequate for the challenges here so often, and I marvel that one such as I could be in any way counted worthy to serve Him. Many people here wanted me to stay, and I thought I wanted to stay, but I was very unsure of what was In my future. I turned to the only things that I could, and began to Read and Talk much about what the Direction that I was supposed to follow. It was hard, because I didn't think or feel I was getting much, other than a small prompting to stay, and my own desire to stay. One day, I made up my mind that I was going to plan to stay, but that I was going to explore as many other doors as I could and if those doors were open, I would pursue them. But, if the doors were closed, that would be confirmation for the idea that I was supposed to stay here. In the two or three weeks since making that decision, there hasn't been any big lightning bolt, any large direction.

That's OK, because the direction that has come has been more like the tide. From all the doors I was investigating in the U.S. being closed, from the way things were occurring here, from the Reading and Talking that I was doing, from the counsel of friends, and the peace that has guarded me, I know what it is that He wants me to do.

This morning, I had to give a talk to the High School assembly on loyalty (I talked about choosing your loyalties and making loyalty living and active to the things you have chosen), and after taking down the projectors and screens, storing them back in my closet, and taking a look around my office... at 8:50 A.M. today, Monday, 5 November, I went to the principal and turned in my Intent to Return form, marked down that if offered a contract, I would return for the rest of the 07-08 school year, and then for the 08-09 school year.

The journey that my Father has brought me on is not one that I ever expected to traverse. And I know that if I try to walk on further alone, I will stumble and fall. I know that the challenges I will face will be insurmountable of myself, the growth He has planned for me would crush me if I tried to do it without His hand. So I rest in the knowledge that I, though a man of unclean lips, have been given a coal.

I again thank all of you for your Remembrance for me. Press on toward the upward call.